Monday, March 26, 2007

I'm Baaaccckkkk!

Yeah...so it's been a while. I'd give the same ole' tired excuse that life's busy and blah-blah-blah, which is true...but really, who cares? I'm back now! At least for the next 30 minutes!

So....I have a lot of stories to share and I don't feel like tying all that much, so I'm re posting them on here from my playgroup bulletin board b/c I always have time to check and chat on that! I'm a bad blogger I know!

So here's the first one. In honor of Will Smith's movie The Pursuit of Happiness, I'd like to title them.

I like to call this part of my life - Cocoa Loco!

So I just finished cleaning up the biggest mess to date that JD has made. I was trying to get a few things done on the computer and should have known something was wrong because it was awfully quiet. I went to find him and found a DISASTER instead! I'm so aggravated b/c Jimmy has my camera for work, but I will try my best to describe it. JD was in the middle of the kitchen covered in hot chocolate mix. He'd opened 9 packets of chocolate mix and poured them all over the kitchen. He'd also poured some all over both of our WHITE American Eskimo dogs. I turned the corner in time to find him pouring the packet on Max's back and then LICKING it off!!! I could have died. I couldn't even punish him because I was laughing hysterically. There was chocolate powder between my toes that was how thick it was. JD looked like one of the Little Rascals because his face was covered in brown and when he smiled he had chocolate caked in between his teeth! Needless to say he went straight to the bathtub! I still have to try and get it out of my carpet! It was awful but so funny at the same time!

I'd like to call this part of my life - Pukin' Fiesta

So I woke this Friday morning and was pretty sick to my stomach. After a bit of wallowing in my sorrow I puked my guts out. Now, this is eventful on it's own, but throw a 2-year old in the mix and you've got a regular ole' pukin' fiesta!! As I'm purging, JD's narrating. Of course, he's not too accustom to throwing up yet (he obviously doesn't remember the concussion a few months ago) so he keeps saying, "Mommy - you poo poo!" No JD - I'm not pooping, I'm puking...a little different! It goes like this - I throw up, he chimes in with a cute comment nonetheless (is that all one word?), and then spits in the toilet. It's actually quiet amusing. I mean, as amusing as puking gets! I finally finish up and carry myself back to the couch with JD in tow. Ok, more like I dragged him out of the bathroom where he was still spitting in the toilet. I was praying it was a freak throw up, but NO - as luck would have it - I was sick.

I'm not sure how many of you have experienced the stomach flu. I know it's straight from the devil. Seriously...it's BAD. I had it last year as well, and ugh...talk about contagious. I will list (just to prove a point) everyone who's caught it in the last 2 years: Me-twice, Jimmy-twice, Susan-twice-, Lynn-twice (work), Aylie (SIL), Nick-twice (BIL), Lexi (niece), Yvonne (work), Tim-twice, Mom, Shannon, Matt, Danny, Kevin, John, several playgroup friends...and so you get the point. It goes around like a merry-go-round! So, I got it. I spent the entire weekend miserable. I stopped counting after my 10th trip (I'm not lying) to the bathroom on Friday. By Friday night I was pretty convinced that I was having an appendicitis and needed emergency medical attention - STAT! This is while I was lying on the living room floor while Jimmy watched another college basketball game rolling around. I know...dramatic...whatever! By the time my stomach eased up my body was so sore from all that rolling around! It was pretty bad and pretty much ruined my weekend. It also prevented me from attending a crawfish boil on Saturday at Aylie's house - booo! So...by Sunday I was almost 100% until this happened....

I like to call this part of my life - Nostril Enema

Sunday was pretty much back to normal. I went to Denny's for breakfast for a good ole fashion Chicken Fried Steak and Eggs (it was so good it deserves capital letters) since I hadn't eaten in 2 days!! We had an uneventful day around the house. Watched the NASCAR race and the Elite Eight (code for NCAA bball - ugh...save me from my misery!)!!! So...a typical Sunday.

Last night I was taking my prenatal vitamins and stool softeners (u don't even want to know - I suffer the pregnancy curse of constipation - TMI???). Well, for those of you who don't know me, you probably don't know that I CAN NOT take pills. I could never be a pill addict b/c I can not swallow pills. It's pretty bad - chewable everything for me!! I gag, throw up in my mouth, puke, etc. when I swallow pills and it all starts as I'm unscrewing the cap. ANYWAYS - my stool softeners are gelcaps - like the easiest things to swallow for a normal person. I take a deep breath and throw them in my mouth and take a swig of tea. You know that burning in your nose feeling when you somehow get the liquid from your mouth into your nasal cavity (the whole milk spewing from nose thing when laughing) - it happened. I was aggravated b/c I'm a pill failure, but figured it would go away in a few. Fifteen minutes later my nose and throat are STILL burning and my nose is beginning to run!! I wipe my nose with a paper towel and much to my surprise - my towel is pink. I keep wiping and shoving twisted up tissues in my nose and they keep coming out all pink! After a few minutes of this, I realize I have not only sucked up tea through my nose, but my stool softener as well! AWESOME. I call my S-I-L to tell her (we share these kind of things). I continue to blow and suffer while my nose is on fire. After a few minutes I gave my nose one last good blow and out came the pill. It was pretty melted by this point, but still resembled the pill! Ugh!!! I had to show Jimmy and I thought he was gonna puke!! It was awful!!! For the next 3 hours my nose burned and my throat had the worst taste EVER from all of the drainage!! It was pretty bad!! I even went to bed with a spit cup just like Papa Tim. Not for dip of course, but for the lovely drainage pouring from my nose to my throat. It literally felt like a thousand ants were being held hostage by Jack Bauer on my throat. The funny thing is...apparently stool softeners are great decongestants as well - you know, in case you run out of clariten d!!

So...in case you were ever wondering if you can suck more than milk into your nose from your throat - the answer is yeah!! A pill the size of 2 cem. will fit as well!! Nice....

3 comments:

Amanda's got Baby Bangs said...

Steph, that is a hilarious post. Bless your heart. I can't believe you blew the pill out of your nose! I bet you felt a lot better afterward though.

Pidcha's Mom said...

I read the coca story so many times but still got a big laugh every time.

For the pill situation, hope you will find the way to take pill easier next time.

Amanda's got Baby Bangs said...

Update please! Love you, Steph!