Wednesday, March 04, 2009

America's Next Top Model - 2 Hour Premiere!

I am going to do something new. And probably something utterly ridiculous because I am a FB (flaky blogger). I just can't seem to find enough time to blog regularly. I want to. But...there's sewing...and tv...and my husband...and these midgets running around calling me "Mom". Time is not something I have a lot of right now. That being said, I am going to start something new every Wednesday night for my 10 followers...

I am going do a semi-live recap of ANTM - America's Next Top Model. I say semi-live b/c I probably won't start until 8:30ish...I don't do commericals.

ANTM - SEASON 12 - EPISODE ONE

Ahhh...Vegas!!! How can I miss it so much already (Vegas blog still coming...waiting on pictures from KOURTNIE!!)??!! I love that place. It's the city that never sleeps. Lucky top model wannabes!!!

Bless these girls and their walking!! Have they not ever walked through their living room practicing the "just in case I am ever stopped in the mall by an agency walk?" Seriously! You KNOW you are going to have to walk a runway! Practice! Better yet, get a coach! Ugh...

Does Jay's hair get grayer every season? What gives??

Ok. I love Tyra. She's beautiful and has done so much more than model. That being said...she gets wierder and wierder every season!!! It's getting a little silly. Just say what needs to be said, do we need a dramatic production every single time??? NO! You are...dare I say it...embarrassing yourself!! Ahh! FIERCE!

Now we get to meet the future ANTM contestants...

Sandra, 19 from Rockville, MD
I am so glad I don't live in London or walking the London runways. I would not be able to pull that off! Ohhh. And now she's crying. Really?! Why do girl's cry on this show because Tyra compliments them or looks their direction. What did you think was going to happen! Ohh, smokin' body! (jealous)
---wouldn't miss her

London, 18 from Arlington, TX
I love her! Seriously love her. NOT loving the headband OR the outfit, but totally love her. Maybe it's the "street preaching" or the Texas accent or just the fact that we'd totally be friends (but I would ask her to remove the band from her forehead!). Super cute, hope to see some more of her!
---keeper

Jessica, 18 from Caguas, Puerto Rico
Never called ugly ever? In your whole life? Me neither! Just kidding (I need to add a "I am a wee bit sarcastic and it might get the best of me" disclamier to the top). But really, you have never made anyone mad enough that they were like, "Oh yeah...well, your ugly!" Lucky. I just totally thought of something else I hope my heavenly body posesses, a puerta rican accent...and a good voice. Like Jorge on AI!
---keeper (just so i can hear her talk)

Tahila, 18 from Phoenix, AZ
Ok, tears...falling down my face. Seriously. I had to pause and rewind several times just to finish this. Wow. It's so scary how quickly accidents like that happen. I KNOW. JD burned his hand on my flat iron when he was 13 months old. It was awful. What an amazing and beautiful girl. I *really* hope we see her again! Sooo brave...
---keeper

Monnique, 21 from Telluride, CO
Wow. Hmm...she would totally wear me out. I don't know that we'd be able to stay friends the entire competition. She would drive me INSANE. I'd end up getting mad and saying something like, "oh yeah...well, your ugly!" Totally kidding. But really? Smile a little!
---Umm. No.

Natalie, 19 from Palos Verdes, CA
Well, she's a cute little thing. Yowza...where did those come from?! Don't act like y'all were surprised to see her huge TaTa's in that bathing suit. Not really partial either way here.
---Don't really care.

Aminat, 21 from Uninon, NJ
Hello, GIANT. Wow...she's so tall. I love that she loves her height, she totally owns it. Not so sure about the "my heart is beating in my throat" comment. Could have done without that. She's pretty. I love how she talks. I love it in a mocking way, but love it all the same.
---keeper

We have another cryer. I am sooooo not one to talk. I cry a lot. Ohh, and it's not getting any better. This is when I really wish I could see everything that happens, not just wha the producers thought was worth keeping! Poor thing...I can send myself into a panic attack. I am not even lying. I think I live a day away from prozax. Your laughing, ask Jimmy. And her she is...

Kathryn, 18 from Farmland, IN
A pen collection? Seriously? Tyra's face is priceless! Oh, Giselle, say Giselle!!! You are from a small town...right...and you have never seen a mall? A tv? A Victoria Secret catalogue?! Your done! Well, she does know her designers, a little. UGLY baathing suit!
---not feeling it.

Alex, 20 from Tampa, FL
WOW. I could have a hayday here. But I am going to try and be nice because I do not want to be "cussed out!". Try not to cuss on national television for starters. Gurl, ain't yo mama watchin'? Nevermind. Ohh...loved her spin on the word "peep". You gotta peep out people's personalities! Right...ohh, pet peeve alert! "Ya know what I'm sayin'?" I will NOT be able to watch her all season if she says that! And that pose? Hmm. I think that was more like putting your hands behind your head waiting for the cuffs. Lord, help her.
---Keeper (seriously...she will make that house veery interesting!"

Isabella, 19 from Barboursville, Va
Epilepsy totally freaks me out. I saw a guy at the airport the other day start seizing and it was so scary. She's so cute and bubbly though. Good for her to fight through what's got to be a tough disease.
---Either way

Nijah, 18 from Rancho Cucamongo, Ca
Prom Queen! Whoohoo! That's all I got.
---Nah

Fo, 19 from Albuquerque, NM
She's sooo cute. I *love* the freckles too!! Blaxican - I love it. Could have done without the dog poop story.
---Keeper

Angelea, 22 from Buffalo, NY
Oh, bless her heart. I have a total confession. I wrote her off from the minute I saw her. And, she just broke my heart. Again with the seizures. Oh, I can not even imagine. She is from the HOOD. But, she got me with the story. Her hair is did and the nails have GOT TO GO!! Don't you watch MTV, dark short nails are trendy! She looks sooo much better minus the my little pony wig. Oh, the nails, what a horror!
---Honestly, I don't know. My heart breaks for her, keep her!

Celia, 25 from Cynthiana, KY
What do we have here? A twirler! ME TOO, about the prettiest thing. Seriously...I am the happiest and feel the prettiest I ever have in my life. Isn't that wierd...at 25, married with two kids I am in my prime? LOL. Nevermind, back to Celia. She's a doll. I love her. We'd toally be friends. And she works at Bergdorf. yeah, we'd be friends!
---KEEPER!

Kortnie, 24 from Houston, TX
I always love the plus-size models the best! But really, is she even plus size? Oh wow, my mom will be so jealous!! Junior!!!!
---Keeper

Allison, 20 from New Orleans, LA
Wow. I thought she just looked odd with those eyes, not we know she really is. Of all the things to admit on NT (national television) you choose to announce your obsession with blood. Hmmm. She reminds me of a deer. And that pout when she walks?!
---No thanks.

Teyona, 20 from Woodstown, NJ
A country girl, a tomboy from the country. Who's the bomb. And she's fine. Hmm...she looks like a model but the attitude...no thank you.
---don't care either way


And our 34 are...
Sandra
London - YEA!
Fo - YEA, wait...what did she just say? You can't believe that as a human being, you made it. As opposed to what...
Jessica
Kortnie - yea!
Tahlia - YEA!
Teyona
Kathryn
Nijah
Natalie
Isabella
Angelea - try and be a little more grateful
Celia - YEA!

Bummer, no Alex.

Again, so jealous. I love Vegas!

Sandra and Angelea are already going at it. Seriously?! Ohh, she said no class! Claws are out!!! I love how Sandra smiles the entire time she is talking smack. Haha! GROW UP! And now she's crying. Ugh...and again, the nails...killing me!

AHH. Did you see the plus for cycle 13?? They are only taking models under 5'7". Seriously?! I am toally applying. Kidding...but really, this should be interesting!

13 Finalists...oh, how Vegas of you!

Aminat - yea! I loved that clap! I am waiting for her to start patting her weave...err...fro with those long fingers!

Natalie - who? that's bad when you have to go reread your previous comments for a reminder!

Fo - Fo sho! Yeah, I'll totally be saying that the entire season! Wow, she is short!

Allison - Creepy!

Tahila - I hope she makes it really far!!

Celia - the girl I would totally be besties with! Yea!

Nijah - ehhh...

London - yea! now take that headwrap off! Oh, she thanked Jesus! I love it!

Teyona - ehhh...

Kortnie - yea! H-town baby!! And she did the running man! Love it!

Isabella - she's cute!

Jessica - yea, I get to listen to her talk some more! They should totally pronounce her name Yessica!

and the last name i am going to call is...

Sandra - knew it!!

Who's the blonde! Later ghetto-fab, should have been nicer!

Y'all...this is killer. That was only the first hour! Yikes.

Yea!!! NYC! I love that place too! LUCKY...

PART TWO:

I totally love London's personality. Sandra is annoying me terribly. She's rude. 80's stories up in the Empire State Building...yikes! My ears would hate me!

AHH! Nigel Barker! I have a serious crush on him! And the keys...

Nice digs! Hello Upper East Siders...

Ok, so I hope the first to go is Sandra! AND I love that Celia totally stole her bed! Ahhh...hahaha!!! Hello couch Sandra!!! And Celia is so nice. Don't give in!!

I love that London just gave up her bed. She's so sweet.

Tahlia is amazing! What a brave girl.

Fashion show already!!! Oh, they are just watching. Take noted ladies!!! Wait, they are going to be in it! Seriously??!! Poor Allison...she might fall and get a nose bleed afterall...

Oh, poor Tahlia. She wants to put herself out there. I can get over how brave she is!!

And it's time to walk...walk it out...

Oh Miss Jay, you are too much.

Aminat - I totally love her. I think it's because she reminds me of Dani from a few cycles ago.

London - totally let her head lead. yikes!

Seyona - so pretty!

Isabella - sooo scary with the strobes.

Kortnie - did ok.

Jessica - looked gorgeous

Fo - pretty!

Tahila - awful outfit! Bless her.

Nijah - blah! she is sooo slow!

Allison - those eyes are crazy. and that walk. bless her

Sandra - OMGoondess. She did HORRIBLE. And she doesn't even know it.

Natalie - so cute.

Celia - I don't think she looked very good. But we are still BFF's.

Sandra is so awful. I can't believe she is making no attempt to make friends. I so wish she would not have made it! I'd like to see her gone!

Oh, photoshoot time! Yea! In Central park??!! Sooo jealous. I LOVE it!!! I'd spend my afternoons there, reading in the sun...ahhh...

WHAT IS JAY WEARING??

Theme - Childhood Games

Fo - Ring Around the Rosies
Ahh, she teaches preschool! I love it!! She rocked her shoot!

London - Tug of War
We'll see, I am excited to see her pic!

Tahila - Tag
Hmmm...she is not doing very well. And bad answers as well. Don't try so hard!!! Poor girl.

Nagtalie - Leap Frog
I love her outfit! She's so me!

Sandra - Hide and Seek
BORING!!!! Blah! See ya!

Kortnie - Monkey Bars
She looks so silly, hope she did better than what we saw!

Aminat - London Bridge
uh-oh, hope she got a good one!

Nijah - Musical Chairs
She was so cute!!

Allison - Double Dutch
She looks scared to death but I think she rocked it!!! I miss me some double-dutching!

Teyona - Hopscotch
This is JD's favorite game. That's all I got.

Celia - Hula Hoop
She's GOOD!

Isabella - Dodgeball
I hated this game! She's struggling. Bless her!

Jessica - jacks
Love the accent!! She rocked it!!! I like her!!

Back at the house. Who's gonna be rude again. Sandra maybe. Let's see...oh goodness. She NEVER messes up when she models?! Really?? Haha.

PANEL! Whoohoo! My favorite part...Tyra's speal. You'll have it memorized by the end of the season!!!

Judges - no guest this time.

First up, Sandra! Ahhh hahah!!! I can't wait to here!!! They totally call her out on the flop of a runway walk!! Miss Jay is totally unimpressed! Her photo? No bueno. Which she is just confused by! Haha!

Next, Celia. She is a fashion genius. I totally need her as my BF. She killed it! They loved her! Yea.

Fo is next. Nigel loves her. I love him. It was a cute photo but not modely enough and didn't capture the concept. Oh, and height is an issue!! LONG and LEAN Fo!

Aminat is up and earrings are gone! Watch the wierd legs! Work on the face!!!

Speaking of London Bridges. London's outfit is hideous!! She totally needs to get with Celia!!! EXCELLENT picture! She looks awesome there!

Jessica had gorgeous angles but not enough!

Next, Teyona. Nigel liked it. Miss Jay had an issue with the head. I am unimpressed!

Isabella, poor thing. Awful picture and no one gets it. She needs some work.

Nijah is up and cute picture and great sweetness. They loved it!!!

Kortnie is next and it's cute. I like it! They thought it was to parade-like!

Allison pulled it off. It's the "deer in the headlight" look!!

Tahlia is up and she didn't do great. Poor thing. She is trying so hard. They did bring uo the fashion show and her being covered up. She was so honest about it. Bless her. I think it earned major points but Tyra broke it down for her!!

Natalie's now sporting the headband? What gives?? Blah shot, can't tell potential!!

Deliberation time...will there be drama in the holding tank?

Judges say...

Sandra - lost in the woods and Nigel thinks she is one of the prettiest. NOT her personality!

Ceila - Miss Jay is being nit-picky, which means it's great!

Fo - No neck, is she modelesque? Super cute Nigel says.

Aminat - brillant on the runway. Is she one note?

London - poor proportions.

Jessica - relies on pretty and that's her problem!

Tiyana - windtunnel face...wind in the face no bueno.

Isabella - she looks like a little person. She rocked the runway! Not getting noticed!

Nijah - blah.

Kortnie - not translating in pictures!

Allison - she killed it and Miss Jay is impressed!

And the results...Best to worst photos...

Allison, Fo, Tiyana, London, Celia, Nijah, Kortnie, Natalie, Aminat, Tahlia, Jessica

Two left standing...

Sandra and Isabella

Ha, Tyra tells Sandra she was dissappointing. And then she stays. Blah! Poor Isabella is going home. I am mad. I like her and she is so much sweeter than mean Sandra!

Oh well. Until next week. I am DONE! Holy cow...this took a while!

Haha!!

ANTM!



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

all I can say is WOW